A boy, some butt cancer, and a dream...

A Boy:
I was born circa 1965 in the dusty farm town of Fargo, North Dakota to a sharecropper and a high falutin socialite who's family made their millions in the volatile world of the manure industry. It wasn't easy growing up in a 3 room apartment over one of the most notorious pubs in the 14 county tri-metro. Through the love of a couple of hundred, make that thousands, of good women I was able to rise up out of this putrid existence to become one of the most prolific scorers, both on and off the court, in North Dakota High School basketball history. This hardscrabble upbringing prepared me well for the mediocrity I have achieved in a sales career lasting over 20 years.

Some butt cancer:
I just finished week 2 of radiation and chemo. 4 more weeks to go, followed by 6 weeks of rest. I then have surgery, followed by 6 weeks of rest and then a month of twice a week chemo. So far, I really can't complain. I've felt kind of cruddy at times, my level of tired is off the charts, butt all in all we're doing ok. The continued kindnesses remain humbling!! You are truly a blessing to us, and I'm not even a religious freak! It's probably gonna get a little tougher with the treatment soon, butt the doctor said that extra hugs and staring at hot chicks helps, so "lil' help" if you don't mind!

A Dream:
I had a dream the other night that I got hit by a bus. Two thoughts crossed my mind as the bus approached...the first was that I hoped it was painless. The second thought was why is Shelly smiling, and when did she learn to drive a bus!?!?

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My heroes you'll be
Dan

Ass tats

Well, I have finally been able to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine. I got my first tattoos! They are 3 dots by my butt that tell the technicians where to fire the laser beams for my radiation...I'm gonna check this off my bucket list!! Only have "Makeout with Katy Perry" left and then I can check "Finish my bucket list" off my bucket list, and I'm done with that stupid thing!!! I had to drop my drawers....GASP...for the technicians and lay on a table for the prep work...I am positive, with my newfound super sensitive hearing ability, that I heard both the words "yummy" and "sweeeet" from the gal techs whispered as the process unfolded. I told this bit to my lil impish friend and she replied that I really don't have a nice butt!?!?....let's see....first I don't have dreamy eyes, next my butt sucks...if she tries to ruin my rep as an outstanding lover, do NOT believe her!!! We now have the plan in place to beat this insidious disease. I will be starting daily radiation, and weekly chemo on Monday the 17th. This process takes about 6 weeks. I will then have 4-6 weeks of recovery, followed by surgery and another 8 treatments of chemo, 2 a week. My doctors are confident that this is the best route to take and we agree. It has been an incredible roller coaster ride so far. I've done pretty well with the physical part, so far, butt the mental aspects have been quite challenging. I've talked to a couple people that have gone through this, and they've understood and said it is normal, so that has made me feel better. One more thing. For the last year, I have been struggling with the notion of turning 50. I kept telling a few people that I want to do something that makes a difference. Maybe just the mid life crisis thing, I don't know. Let me tell you this. Don't ever question if you have made a difference. The outpouring of support that we have been given has had an incredible affect on me. I am touched on a daily basis by an act of kindness, and I'm truly grateful for that. YOU are making a difference for me and I thank you for that!!! Noah told me the other day that his class prays for "Noah's dad" every day...after I stopped crying, and he stopped laughing, I realized how grateful I am for everyone's prayers, thoughts and hopes. If you pray, I appreciate your prayers, and if you don't pray I appreciate your hopes! Take care!!
Love,
Dan

Rump update

Well, my butt and I have a health update for all. I spoke to my surgeon yesterday, and it's been determined that I have rectal cancer (I know, right?!?!). What this means, is that I will most likely be having 3 months of chemo and daily radiation followed by surgery. I'm assuming I'll have chemo post surgery as well....yeeeehawwwww, let the fun begin!!! Truth be told, this is really pretty good news as it looks as if there has been no spread of the disease. The treatment will begin once the liver infection has been cured, hopefully in a couple weeks. I really struggled with putting the news out there, as I didn't want it to look like I was trolling for sympathy. But you know what I found out...I don't care what it looks like, and your kind words and thoughts have lifted me higher than you will ever know. It has been truly humbling! Bless you for making a huge difference in my life! On a side note, I've had heard some blowback that there may be anger at my tookus on the hardscrabble streets of the Minneapolis area. I know, as I was disappointed in my favorite feature as well. I even tried to get Shelly to agree that my eyes were "dreamy" and should be anointed as my new best feature. She replied that they aren't dreamy, so that plan kinda fell part. So it looks as if my butt will remain my best feature, but be sure, you round little sculpture of beauty, you are on notice to shape up!!!
Love,
Dan

Bloggys health...a work in progress.

I kinda realized last night that, after telling my story to a fellow parent at Sam's basketball game at TG (a crafty 1 point win that was truly epic and made me feel normal for an hour or so!!) who I just met weeks ago,that maybe I should let everybody in on what's been going on. On New Years Eve I was diagnosed with colon cancer that looked like it had spread to my liver. Obviously not one of my better days. I was in complete shock and scared beyond belief. There's the bad news, now I'll tell you the good. As I'm hearing this news I have never felt more loved by anyone in my life than I felt at that moment looking at Shelly. She has been truly heroic in her leadership in getting me better   and raising my spirits. I have shed many tears just realizing how truly blessed I am to have her by my side. The boys took the news as well as can be expected. Concerned but confident that we'll get through this. They are my pride and joy!! A week and a half ago I went in for a liver biopsy. The news was stunningly positive. The spots were caused by an infection, not cancer they believed. While I did have to stay in the hospital for 5 days on antibiotics, the trade off was well worth it!!! The staff at Regions was truly remarkable. The treatment plan is currently up in the air. It will either be 3 months of chemo and radiation, followed by surgery, or surgery followed by chemotherapy. It depends on the exact location of the cancer and how soon we can get the liver healed to some extent. We should know for sure after more tests this week. I have been truly humbled by the outpouring of well wishes that we have received. I thank each and every one of you as they have brightened my spirits and lifted me up every time. One thing that I have started telling everyone is that I love them. I will continue this even though I start to cry pretty much every time. I will try to keep you informed of how things are going via the blog in the future. Thanks again for being a part of my life!! I promise to tell a couple good stories in my next blog... The fainting at the surgeons after a "quick exam" was simply a classic!!
Love,
Dan
PS...props to Colleen and Joy for encouraging me to do this, and next time Theens are buying, I'm going filet mignon at minimum!