Tuck N Me....

                                                 Chapter 2: Tuck Makes it Rain

Take the little fella out for multiple walks a day, let him out in the backyard plenty, and he still manages to do the one thing that will make the Nugget a non-fan. Last night he was upstairs, and made it rain through the railing. The diddle landing squarely on to some of my favorite quilters fabric, like he was trying to sink Cheerios in the toilet. I've gotta let the 4 legged one know that the only place where making it rain is appropriate, is when you are out clubbing with the coeds. Live and learn, I guess!!

New Years Resolutions...

                             "New Years Resolutions 2012-Catch the Fever"

1. I resolve to lose another 35 pounds, minimum, just for the hell of it. I may then gain back 80, again, for the hell of it....we'll see as I don't want to let my Big n Tall wardrobe go to waste when so many big n tall dudes in China are walking around naked, or with tight outfits on.

2. I resolve to not vote for any Republicans this year, in any elections, for one simple reason....I am sick of people sharing, or copying and pasting their boring rhetoric on Facebook. I used to vote about half and half...no more. While I'm getting all political Bloggy about it, I'm not voting for any more "Family Values" spewers or Jesus freaks either. I'm all for family values, and truly believe that Jesus rocks, but why is that these people usually have their pool boys number on speed dial, or are getting some of the naughty naughty with some staffer?? Yawn...why can't they be like the rest of us and just figure it out? I have no idea what the Jacques Lemaire of CR hockey thinks about politics...I just know that he likes Miller Lite, talking about girls, screening my calls and has an awesome family!!!

3. I resolve to not talk about boring politics on the "Peoples Blog", ever again, unless, of course, it makes me laugh, or I get all riled up about something.....speaking of which, lets get that damn CR Community Center built!!!

4. I resolve to bring sexy back.

5. I resolve to win either Power Ball or Mega Millions!

6. I resolve to think that anyone that reads my Blog is super cool!! (I already think that anyways, just wanted to let you know!!)

7. I resolve to have a GREAT 2012 and truly hope and pray that you do as well!!!

Cheers to a healthy, safe and Happy New Year!!!
Bloggy from the block

Think before you Blog, a message from Bloggy..

After attending last nights Wolves-Heat game, which was a fun game to be at, as the joint was jumpin', I was all set to do a Blog when we got home, making fun of all the grown ups wearing their groovy Heat jerseys at Target Center. I was gonna rip them about maybe wanting to grow up a little, you look like a fool, isn't it time to maybe get a job....when I suddenly remembered a trip from 2 summers ago. Took the boys to KC to watch our beloved Twins with some Wild Puck Banter fans, and guess what this mid 40's goofball was wearing? You got it...his home alternate Twins jersey!!! Think before you Blog is my new mantra!!
Bloggya

2 days 'til 2012, "The Year of Bloggy".....

With the new year quickly approaching, and seemingly no one stepping up to the Bloggy plate, I have decided to take it upon myself, and officially declare 2012 "The Year of Bloggy". Much thought and energy has gone into the festivities, so that all can enjoy this most special of upcoming events.

Here is a tentative list of some planned activities:

January-2 plain McDoubles and a large fry will be on sale at all local McDonalds at their regular price. Did I mention how much I miss those fries!?!?

February-In honor of Valentines Day, all hotties will get a "Dream Date with Bloggy"...there will, of course, be none of what the kids call " the hanky panky", as this would tick off the Nugget!

March-free Bloggy dance team posters to the first 10,000 fans at the Timberwolves vs. Fargo North game on March 32nd.

April-Bloggy throws out the first pitch, Opening Day, at Target Field. I anticipate a 99 mile heater on the black caught by Ryam Doumit, as Joe Mauer will still be nursing some mystery malady in the training room.

Spring/Summer-"Take Bloggy to Work Day". Bloggy will show up at your job and try to tell you how you can do it better. Bloggy especially appreciates those that work at Gentlemen's Clubs, as he has a couple new sexy dances that he wants to try out.

The rest of 2012-I got nothin'!! Dealers choice, as the fans decide how to honor their Bloggy!!

4 days left on vacation!!! McBloggy

Tuck 'n Me....

So Tuck has his first accident in the humble abode, and of course, it's a doodie. We get everything all squared away, and I ask the little hound..."Hey Tuck, little T, puppy doggie...whats up with the indoor doodoo?" and you know what he says? He replies.."Just my way of making a comment about your blog!"....right on little brother, right on!!!

Very preliminary New Years resolutions...

I have decided to do a preliminary list of New Years resolutions....please be advised that this is a preliminary, and not final, list of resolutions for 2012.....

-I resolute to maintain my "cuz me so fatty diet of the stars", and also buy tighter fitting Target jeans so everyone can enjoy the results....
-I resolute to not get mad at refs/umpires...but do maintain the right to make smart ass comments...I don't get mad at them anyway, so this should be easy...maybe I'll keep this one in my pocket for Lent!
-I resolute to get a different hairdo..I've had the same one since Audrey and Karla cut it 28 years ago!! Get with the times, for the love of God!! We took a family photo the other day, and it looked like I was wearing a hair helmet!!
-I resolute to invent a new dance craze called the "Bloggy"...this will involve simulated typing, writing with erasable ink on a clipboard, and some form of innocent grinding to keep it hip for the kids!! Pretty sure you'll see it in the next Prince movie, tentaviely entitled "Purple Hair"...a nod to his getting up there in years....
-I resolute to continue to worship the ground that an incredibly short, almost dwarf like, super hottie walks on...I will have to retire from the paint world, as I will be following her around all day and bowing down, but the view will be awesome, so it should be cool!!

(Quick sidebar-Noah and I are playing Wheel of Fortune on the Wii, and the Vanna Mii is kinda hot....We just won a trip to Paris!!! J'mapelle Danielle all you Frenchies!!)

I will Bloggify my final resolutions in the near future....
Bloggy from the CR!!

Post Christmas ramblings...

Here are some post Christmas ramblings from the ol' self involved one....

-Without question, my favorite Christmas tradition is the Happy Birthday cake that the Hedtkes make for Jesus. I don't know why this strikes me as so funny/cool, but it just does. Had Unca Dana and Lily, Steve and Julie, Baby J, Mimi do and Gra Ham over to the humble abode on the Eve, and went to the Grove on the Day(nice presentation Julie!!)...wonderful time spent with family!!

-I actually went for a walk with the puppy yesterday...2 miles!! Can you believe it...I can't!! I'm actually looking forward to another one this evening....I may have lost my formerly fat mind!!!

-Down 39.6 pounds on the "Me so fatty" diet...won't hit my goal of 50 by the 1st...but 40 ain't too bad, and I have to admit, my hiney looks finey!! Lil'Bit will confirm this!! Ok, so maybe she won't, but I'm not gonna let the facts get in the way of some good ol' fashion blogging!!

-I am currently working on my New Years resolutions, and may have more on that soon...stay tuned!!

Off to shoot some hoops with the boys, walk the dog, and watcha the Rickya Rubio on the cablea TVa!!!

Byea Byea froma the CRa!! Maplea Grovea sucksa lessa becausea the Hedtkesa are coola!!
Bloggya

Bloggy Christmas greeting...

Bloggy: "Welcome to our warm and loving home on the eve of Jesus' birth!"
Julie:     "Oh, shut up!!"

And that, dear friends, is why I love Miss Shells family!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Bloggy

Bloggy gets a doggy...

Well, we have finally broken down and granted Austin his wish, and gotten him a dog. His name is Tuck and I kinda fell in love with the little dude the moment Shelly and I met him. He is all attitude, which kinda reminds me of a certain person whom I know very well. Austin, and Noah for that matter, are both thrilled...Sam is the usual Sam...if it doesn't involve sports, or some video game, he can take it or leave it....here is a typical conversation with Sam....
Me: "Hey Sam, how was school?"
Sam: "Good"
Me: "How was practice today?"
Sam: "Good"
Me: "Hows the team looking?"
Sam "Good"
Me: "Who's your favorite Minnesota Twin?"
Sam: "Good"
Me: "What's your favorite color?'
Sam: "Good"
Me: "Good Talk"
Sam: "Good"
.....my little buddy doesn't open up too much, as you can see!!
I have decided to write a book about our life with Tuck, and already have a working title. The book will be called "Tuck and Me". Make sure you pronounce the T distinctly, because if you don't, it will sound wrong and would be a whole 'nother blog!! I'm thinking that I'll have Owen Wilson play me in the inevitable movie, and maybe that hot chick from "Friends" can play the Nugget!!

I hope everyone has all their Christmas wishes granted like I have....I get to live in the CR!!!! Woof Woof!!
(PS...word on the street is that we're having cornish game hens for Christmas dinner in Maple Grove....you KNOW I'll be blogging 'bout that!!! PPS...don't worry...my sister-in-law is super funny and won't be offended...she even laughs at the fakedowntown and windmill comments!!!)

Bloggy FAQ....

Bloggy answers some frequently asked questions.....

1. You seem to be the perfect Dude....handsome(sic), witty(sic), pillar of the community(sic), slim(sic), drinker of Miller Lite in the Thienes garage...what gives?

Answer: While I do admit to all of the above(sic), I am not without my faults, which I will list below...
a) My left buttock is slightly (almost imperceptible to the naked eye) smaller than my right buttock.
b) I occasionally have a hitch in my giddyup.
c) I like pinnacoladas, don't like getting caught in the rain, I am not into yoga or the taste of champagne.
d) I have decided to quit here, as I don't feel like inventing new letters of the alphabet, as my faults will go and on and on....

2. How did a lard ass like you lose so much weight?

Answer: No more than 2000 calories a day...and on a serious note, if I can do this, there is nothing that anyone else can't do....I am the most undisciplined person I know!!

3. Which is your favorite Rocky movie?

Answer: Rocky 2...well what are we waitin' for!!!

4. Are you excited for Christmas break?

Answer: Hellz to the ya!!!! 12 days o' RELAXATION!!!!


Bloggy Peace from the capital city...THE CR!!!

Bloggy Dream....

How's this for weird...
Bloggy is exhausted, falls asleep at about 9:30 and has a dream that he is at a class reunion and no one will talk to me, because they are all pissed about my blog. I wake up a couple hours later and realize that, thankfully, it was just a dream....or is it....maybe right now I'm dreaming that I woke up and realized that I was dreaming, but now am not dreaming and realized I wasn't not dreaming, yet I was dreaming.....I may have to do a flow chart on this whole thing.....I'm also calling my Dr. Phil for some help with self analysis...

Bloggy weekend props:

-6Red Traveling Fun Show...good tourney in St Francis...dang Champlin Park for having our # this year...win or lose, we still have fun!! Another trophy, or "dust collector", as Chris calls them, for Sams shelf!

-My buttocks...for maintaining its bulbousness....well done tookus!!

- Itty Bitty...she had the boys hold up their teachers X-Mas presents that she made for them, to take a picture for posterity...a pillow, a table runner and a wall hanging...all Christmas themed....she may get ticked at me sometimes, but damn she does good work!!!

-My favorite club, the Minnesota Twins....look, I love Cuddy too...and if you didn't have 40 million committed to 2 guys who you can't count on (Mourneau valid, Mauer..not so much)...maybe you could roll the dice...but I'll save the 3 million and get 2 early picks for a dude with better numbers EVERY time......
(Since I'm a world renowned (sic) blogger, can I now get a press pass for Target Field with this insightful analysis!!!)

-You...yes You...for being super cool and reading this....Bloggy thinks you are thebomb.com, as the kids like to say!!!

Have a rock solid, Bloggy filled, enjoyable week!!!!
BloggyBlog

Bloggylosophy...

Today, Bloggy will ramble on about his philosophy on life. I am gonna have fun!!! This deal goes by way too fast not to. It seems like just yesterday that I was playing baseball all day at Madison, being named both Homecoming King and Prom Queen in the same calendar year at Fargo North, meeting the 'lil Nugget in  Bismarck or bringing Sam home, wondering what the heck we do now! I have decided that the only time I can rightfully be grumpy, is when I hear the phrase "It's all about the kids"....quick piece of advice...if you hear that phrase in any area of youth athletics, run for the hills!!!! I will also continue to espouse all the GREAT things about living in the "CR". I am sick of hearing people make fun of this town, when all the people I get to hang out with are the best people I've ever met...be it Little League, Hoops, School, Church or anyone we know here, for that matter!!
Off to see the 6Red "Traveling Fun Show" soon, the greatest show on the hardwood!!
You know I'll give them Bloggy Props later!!!
Bloggy

Letters to the Blogitor-part deux

Dear Bloggy,
First time listener, long time caller.You seem like such an ass. Why would you think that anyone would give a crap about anything that you have to say?
Wiggy, Maple Grove, Mn

Dear Wiggy,
My suspicions have obviously been confirmed, you windmill loving, fakedowntown liking, Wayzata HS bumber sticker displaying, Girboux jean wearing, fan of Bloggy and all that he stands for. Stay in touch and Merry Christmas!!!
Bloggy

Dear Bloggy,
I've been having a little trouble getting dates, and was wondering if you could give me any advice. You seem to be such a hit with the ladeeeez! Thanks!
G. Clooney Hollywood, CA

Dear G,
First off, I would stop trying to stretch yourself too thin. I too was once an actor/singer, but then realized that I needed to concentrate on just one vocation...henceforth and herewith...the art of the Blog. It would also help if you weren't so smarmy...be yourself, let people get to know you, and you too can be a hit with the fairer sex!! If need be, you may also use a couple of my beauty tips...I have drawers full of mansiers and am getting a decent sized collection of mirdles as well. Now get out there and make yourself available, you creep!!
Bloggy

Dear Bloggy,
You seema to beya such a mana abouta the towna. I alsoa hearda that you werea quita the basketballa stara in the Northa Dakotaa. Do youa thinka that maybe you coulda show me around the towna and give me some basketballa tipsa? I hearda that the Coon Rapidsa isa greata placea to livea! Thanksa! Maple Grovea sucka!
R. Rubio Minneapolis, Mn

Dear R,
You have heard correctly that I was a basketball superstar in the early 80's in the EDC. It seems just like yesterday......Feff Jurness pounds the ball up the court, passes to the corner to Frad Beltis, top of the key to Vatt Melline, bounce pass to the other corner to Creg Growley, who no look passes (even though everyone could tell who he was looking at!) towards the basket, where I catch the ball at my ankles (Creg was a horrible passer) in midair and do a reverse jam, followed by 2 minutes of the cabbage patch dance. Pretty sure it was the KXJB "Dunk o' the Day"....I think it was a game against Erie....BTW...The CR is the BEST place to live...TONS of the best peeps I'll ever know, and Maple Grove does blow!!!!!
Bloggy

Bloggy loves ya!!! Well, most of ya...oh, Ok, Bloggy loves all of ya!!!

Bloggy viewership lagging.....

With my page views starting to lag, and being a sensitive fella, Bloggy has decided to let his friend Wiggy back into the fold to get readership to spike to Bloggys customary levels....so, with that being said, another interview with Wiggy commences in 5...4...3...2...1......

Bloggy: "Welcome back Wiggy"
Wiggy: "Glad to be back, thanks for being such a humanitarian"
Bloggy:"Funny you should mention that, I consider myself a giver to humankind"
Wiggy: "You really are...warmhearted, kind, loving...an all around Oprah Winfrey type"
Bloggy: "Are you calling me fat?"
Wiggy: "No, of course not, I'm calling you a conceited jackass, who thinks everyone gives a rip about what you have to say"
Bloggy: "Listen here pal, I am sick and tired of your negative attitude....I am Bloggy Dammit!!!"
Wiggy: "I don't care who you are...its all Bloggy this, Bloggy that, Bloggy Bloggy Bloggy....I am sick and tired of being in your formerly formidable shadow....I am freaking Wiggy and deserve some recognition!!!"
Bloggy: "You are probably right"
Wiggy: "Thanks for recognizing that...I really do enjoy your lame blog"
Bloggy: "No problem Wigs...how about a hiphop hug?"
Wiggy: "Word....good to be back"
Bloggy: "Good talk"

This should get my pageviews back to the levels that I'm accustomed to.........
Bloggins

Breaking News......

In a stunningly close vote, Bloggy has won the 2011, N.S.P.S.L "Hooping for Jesus", Basketball Coach of the Year....it came down to the wire, and was decided by only 1 vote. The final tally was Bloggy-1 vote, everybody else-0 votes. As it is the first year for the award, and I held the only vote, maybe it really wasn't as close as the final total suggests. Pretty sure it was my complicated offense, consisting of plays such as.....Sam-Goldy-Drew Take it to the hole...or, how about, Clear Out for Sam-Goldy-Drew, or, my personal favorite...Sam-Goldy-Drew, if you get the rebound, push it up the court!! The monthly "Catholic Spirit" will have a 7 page article devoted to me in it's upcoming issue, along with a small blurb explaining the changes at Mass (I'm gonna have a tough time not saying, "and also with you"!!)  I also designed the custom trophy (I got a guy...doesn't everybody have a trophy guy?), which consists of a likeness of Jesus holding a clipboard, yelling at a ref, as he guides his team to victory!! A possible 6 games in the next 3 days makes for a tired Bloggy!!!

Zippy

Bloggy wraps up his weekend...

-Bloggy props to 6Red on their 2nd place finish in the Mahtomedi tournament....big dude from Irondale played well (he is my height....and skilled!), but we hung in there and played tough until the end...Irondale is kind of a rival for us, but they are a classy team, so kudos to them!
-Went to lunch with some of the hoopsters and their parents (CR peeps, so you know they are cool!!!) when it struck me, my million dollar idea, my ticket to fame and fortune, people will sit under a shaded tree and sell maps to Bloggys home, paparrazi will try to get photos of me leaving the local Mickey D's with a bag of french fries...

                                                              Bloggy Sweats for Dudes

There was a kid wearing sweats with the word Pink on them. Now, Bloggy is a hipster...super snazzy hair, fashionable jeans and hoodies, speaks multiple languages (j'mappelle Daniel, dufromage, le garcon etc...) but he doesn't get it, until now. My "Sweats for Dudes" will come in two convenient colors (red or black), and you will have the choice of different sayings on the back. Choose from Butt Ocks, Tookus, Rump or, for the bigger dudes in your life, you may want to go with the word Massive in front of the other choices....(Massive Buttocks, Massive Rump, Massive Tookus)....These will sell for the conveniently low price of $5,000,000 per pair...so all I have to do, is hook some sucker from Maple Grove into buying 1 pair, and I'm set for life!!!
Why in the heck didn't I think of this earlier!!!!!

Have a great week everyone!!!!
From the only 'Burb that will put up with me, The CR!!!!
Bloggy

Breaking News....

Ok.....Bloggy will admit that he is super hammered.....but, the breaking news is that he is a "Winter" on the color wheel....sooooo, hopefully, you have kept those receipts if you have purchased an outfit for Bloggy for Christmas!!!!

I LOVE THE CR!!!!!!!!! Best Peeps in the WHOLE world!!!!! Expect many public hugs!!!!!
Bloggy

Bloggy gives multiples!! (Or, Narcissistic Bloggy!)

Bloggy recounts some of his favorite Facebook posts from the last year or so.....

-Nothing screams loser, like tearing up watching What Not To Wear as Amanda discovers her true inner beauty....there is a decent chance I need professional help!!

-Hey Jessie...now now Jerome...YES..oh we oh we oh!!!.

-where o' where is my little buddy????

-is thinking about getting a tatoo of his face, on his face...either that, or maybe a small rose on my ankle....I'll keep you posted...

-Reminder to Chris...when drinking the 16's, it's like every 3rd one is a 4th one for free!!!

-BIG storm in the CR and, oh yeah, I like Turtles!!

-Dear sump pump, You suck...well technically, you didn't suck, but you still suck!!! Home ownership is WAY overrated...9 years til senior livin!!!!

-Austin told me last night that he thinks Bowen is this years Michael.....Austy knows his CRCLL!!!!

-just passed a Smart car on my way to Duluth..man, those things look stupid!

-thank you Fantastic Sams...you truly do remarkable work for only 11.99....Godspeed my scissor wielding friends, Godspeed...

-Why I love Noah reason #327.....he has to wear a cup for baseball this year and he already knows how to put it in...so well, in fact, that he slept with it on and now is watching cartoons while fully protected...like I told Shelly, you never know when you may need it......

-is in Chicago to present his territory growth plan.....plenty of good seats available.....

-we had the draft for Austins Little League team last night....after telling him the team name and who he will be playing with he asks where we had the draft....I tell at the bank, in the meeting room, he was surprised and said..."I thought you all sat around a poker table in a smoke filled room".......makes me laugh every day!!! I hope you all have someone that can do that for you, if not, give Austy a call!!

-just realized that if every one of my Facebook friends gave me $1,000, I would have $175,000 to spend..1st grand goes to charity, the rest will be spent on snazzy outfits, booze and hair care products....Sam said he thinks this is funny, but then agreed that his Dad is kinda stupid....

-has decided to make public weeping a regular part of his day...

-The Hills and Thienes' will be at TGIF's in the CR in about an hour, the Miller Brewing Company has been notified and is placing a truck on high alert!!!

-Time to decide what to give up for Lent and I'm down to 3 choices...1. Spinach (easy, it tastes bad). 2. My hope that the Gophers make the Big Dance (no problem..they're in the tank) or 3. My 6th sense (not sure what it is, but what a good way to find out.. I'm guessing that it's "inner beauty"..which kind of scares me..maybe I'll become crabby, or not care about my obvious outer (hello!!) beauty..so many choices..)

-And, of course, my all-time favorite....if the chicks of America ever decide to have a group hug, I am totally in, and I call middle!!!!

Zippy the Bloggy 

Saturday morning bloggification....

Bloggy tells you about his Saturday plans......(like you give a rip!!)

-Just got done washing the dishes by hand (Thank you Maytag!!). This, of course, does not make me happy as I was possibly in line for an upcoming hand model shoot....
-I will now tackle the ever present mountain of laundry....Noah, much like his Aunt Julie, wears about 4 outfits a day...pajamas, school uniform, after school clothes and then he has to put on basketball clothes as he always wants to go to Sam's practices....he also wants another pair of shoes, so he doesn't wreck his Shaq hoops shoes...he is a funny little dude!!
-Only 1 "Hooping for Trophies" game today, 2 tomorrow....Sam will have played 26 games before the NBA season even starts....how cool is that?!
-A "Celebration of Super" this evening where I plan on overserving myself...gotta do it once in a while!!

Have a GREAT weekend, from the Worlds 'Burb....THE CR!!!!!

Retaining water Bloggy (down 35 pounds, and stuck...may have to introduce exercise.....NOOOOOOO!!!!)

Blogdumb...

Bloggy has decided to take it to a whole other level by introducing the character "Wiggy" to his Blog...what follows is a conversation that Bloggy and Wiggy recently had.....

Wiggy: "Hi Bloggy"
Bloggy: "Hello Wiggy"
Wiggy: "Whats going on"
Bloggy: "Nothin' much"
Bloggy: "How 'bout you"
Wiggy: "'Bout the same"
Bloggy: "Good talk"
Wiggy: "Later, jackass"
Bloggy: "Ooooooooo, tough guy"
Wiggy: "I quit your stupid blog, you talentless hack!"
Bloggy: "GOOD!! You are kind of a dink anyways!!"

And so ends the introduction of a new character to the CR blog...looks like I'm on my own again!!
Blogs

Myth vs Reality...

Myth:   Bloggys boys are world class athletes who are superstars in all the sports they play.
Reality: Bloggys boys do ok, try really hard and we love watching them and their buds.

Myth:   Bloggy is always in a good mood.
Reality: Bloggy is always tired, and sometimes crabby, but mostly in a good mood!!

Myth:   Bloggy was a superstar athlete in his heyday back on the northside of Fargo.
Reality: Bloggy was not a superstar athlete in his heyday back on the northside of Fargo.

Myth:   Bloggy is a lard butt.
Reality: Bloggy is a butter butt.

Myth:   Chicks dig Bloggy, and Bloggy digs chicks (especially a certain pint sized one from Oakes, ND!!!)
Reality: Chicks dig Bloggy!! (Just play along!!)

Myth:   Bloggy doesn't like Maple Grove.
Reality: Bloggy likes Lakeville even less!!

Myth:   Bloggy thinks the new Greg in the Wiggles is better than the old Greg in the Wiggles.
Reality: Bloggy actually paid money to see the Wiggles when the boys were little...it actually wasn't bad!

Myth:   Bloggy is a Woggy.
Reality: Bloggy is a Goggy.

Myth:   Bloggy loves the CR.
Reality: Bloggy loves the CR!!

Goodnight from Crapids! Bloggy from the block

Sunday morning Bloggy....

Random thoughts on a Sunday morning.....

-Sam has 2 more traveling basketball games today and a game for school tomorrow, which will make 7 games in 5 days, 16 so far for the season, 13 left to play in December and about 35 games to go this year. I have no idea how these kids do it, but they love to play and are fun to watch....just gotta make sure he keeps getting his rest....I think I'll add citrus to my diet to keep my energy up, or then, maybe not!!

-Spent 10 hours in Elk River for hoops yesterday, and at least another 4 or so hours coming today....can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing....I am a LUCKY guy!!!

-I don't like pudding, or as I call it, puddin'...I never have, and never will...I do, however, sometimes like calling Miss Shell puddin'....I also like calling her Nugget, Lil bit', Showty and Quilty Pants....

-I never thought that Jesus cared about who won or lost in various sporting events until Tim Tebow came along.....the Jesus thing is a little over the top, but I root for the guy just because I like how he makes the talking heads look bad....a little lesson for all of us....it's shtick people...Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, ESPN, Talk radio...it's all a bit to get you too watch or listen so that companies will advertise with them.....call me "Political Bloggy!!!!"

-I have to go get Puddin's coffee now, so that's all I got....maybe Bloggy will give multiples today, (as he has been known to do), with a post tonight, or, maybe, Bloggy won't, as he will be too tired, (as Bloggy has also been known to be)!!!

Utmost of props sent your way from America's 'Burb, The CR!!!!
Slim

Bad Mood Bloggy...

Proof that Bloggy isn't always cheerful.....

"Hooping for Jesus" lost last night and, as the Phil Jackson of the NPSL, I'm not taking it well...we aren't running the triangle offense correctly, and I wanted to get a technical, but then remembered the pre-game prayer, and it calmed me down, dammit!!!

Burned out at the old salt mine and need a nice 12 day break to recharge the alkalines (que the internal chant of "3 more weeks, 3 more weeks!!!!!!)

Gained 3 pounds this week and haven't yet gone over, or cheated, on my back to sanity, "Bloggy Woggy is a fat Hoggy" diet......this is ticking me off!!!!!

If we have one more appliance quit at our house, I'm calling the bank and letting them know that the keys are under the mat.....don't the appliance Gods realize I need a snowblower!!!!....dammit!!!! (using 2 dammits in 1 post to show my angst!!)

So, to capsulize, Bloggy is having a crappy week but, on the bright side, it really ain't that bad, and my hair has performed very well, so I guess it hasn't been a total loss!!!

Yours in Blogdumb, BillyBlog

Dear Bloggy....

Bloggy answers his mail.......

Dear Bloggy,
Thank you for your recent photo submission. Unfortunately, due to a slight imperfection, a dimple if you will, on your left buttock, we cannot, at this time, consider you for the underwear model position we currently have open. For future reference, please send only photos where you are clothed.
Sincerly, A. Haines, New York, New York

Dear A.,
Thanks for shattering a guys dreams, you arrogant, perfectly buttocked, corporate jerk!!!!

Dear Bloggy,
Word on the street is that you were the "me" of high school basketball in North Dakota during the early 1980's. Care to elaborate?
M.Jordan, Charlotte, NC

Dear M.,
Actually, I was more like the Lebron James of  North Dakota hoops in the early '80s. I remember it like it was 28 years ago.....Fargo North vs. Mott-Clifford-Galesburg-Streeter-Wing-Tuttle-Glyndon-Felton....Creg Growley throws up a brick from the top of the key, I come flying in from the wing for a monster put back jam and one....I hang on the rim while yelling "Who's your daddy" at the cat I had just humiliated...dude gets mad at me, ready to take a swing, when I tell him..."No, you've misunderstood me, humbled dude, I wanted to know who your daddy was, so I could tell him "nice job" on raising such a fine young man"........
Jeeeeesh...everybody is soooooo sensitive!!!!

Dear Bloggy,
A lot of us super hot model types have been talking about how Nugget is so lucky to get to hang with you, now that you have lost so much weight. Just thought you might like to know!
Sincerly, E. McPherson Sydney, Australia

Dear E.,
Thanks for taking time out from your career as a super model to write such a touching note. I will be sure to let the Lil' Bit know, although my guess is that her reply will be that you can have him!!

Keep those letters comin'!
Bloggy from the snob free 'Burb....THE CR!!!!

Bloggy Lite

The Blog has spent parts of the last 3 days putting up the outdoor lights for his light show tentatively entitled "Holiday lights for Jesus" or, possibly, "Bloggy Christmas". Tonight was to be the big unveiling...Bloggy plugs the last of his 15 extension cords in and wham, the fence lights don't work...WHAT THE!!! This was to be the piece deresistance of the Bloggy light show......my big chance to appear on KARE 11, doing a live remote with Bel, maybe throwing it back to the studio to the big toothy grinning guy...and maybe, just maybe, if the stars align, I would get to do some of that non sensical anchor patter and do the hearty fake laugh I've even been practicing!!! But alas, the fence lights don't work, so I must buckle down again tomorrow to solve this most troubling of situations...it's probably for the best anyways, as Bel would have probably hit on me, I would have had to show her my wedding ring, and she would have most likely been devastated...or, then again, maybe not!!!

Goodnight from the peoples 'Burb, The CR!!
Bloggy Claus

Bloggy displays newfound maturity...

Miss Shell and I were talking this evening, when she said, and I quote "You know how sometimes people are really hot, then they open their mouths, and then immediately they are not...you are one stupid comment from becoming that person!"......I instantly think to myself that one, she thinks I'm hot! and two, maybe I should ask her to make out, since she thinks I'm hot!!!! This is where I quickly determined that I should just keep my mouth shut, thus displaying my newfound maturity level!!! I may reach my teens yet on the maturity scale!!
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families and friends, and are as lucky as I am to have so many things to be thankful for!!!!!!!!!!

Peace from America's 'Burb, The CR!!!
HotBloggy

Bloggy spends Thanksgiving in Maple Grove....

Thanks to his wonderful Sister-in-Law, let's call her Julie, and her super lesser half, let's call him Steve, Bloggy and the blogglings will be spending some quality Thanksgiving time in the Grove. I have spent many hours preparing for this adventure, so as to fit in, and remain inconspicuous. If you happen to see me, and don't recognize me, that's Ok, as I will give you a little nod to let you know that The CR still rules!!

Bloggies recon preparations:
-I rented a black SUV, and placed a Wayzata High School bumpersticker on the back of the vehicle.
(My feeling is that if you can let a fart at your house, and they can smell it at Maple Grove High, then that is the school that you should probably go to...just sayin')
-I will be wearing a skin colored breathright on my nose so that it turns up just a hair...
-I will totally agree with changing the exit off 94 to Maple Grove Parkway (how precious) even though idiots like me will still probably miss the turn off cuz I remember it as....whatever it was!!!
-I will espouse my love for fakedowntowns and the windmills that power them....
-I purchased some product for my hair and a shirt with a collar that I can turn up in a kind of devil may care way...even though it will take me 2 hours to get it just right....
-I will listen to that blowhard Limbaugh and pretend that everything he says is the truth, even that thing about Obama being responsible for Joe Mauers endless array of injuries...
-I will let everyone know that I am a "Fall" on the color wheel, just in case someone thinks I'm so cool, they feel compelled to buy me an outfit!!

I recently spoke to an old high school friend, Creg Growley (name changed to protect his reputation) who knew me back when I was a High School basketball superstar with scholarship offers from many world renowned universities....Dakota School of Mines, East Grand Forks Tech, Aakers Business School, Tony's Convenience and Bait Store and, oh yeah, Schoolin' Place (I told you that you knew 'em) and was also a big hit with the ladeeeez!! Mr. Growley reminded me that we have some friends in the Grove who may be offended by my making fun of this lesser 'Burb (I REALLY doubt that many people read this crap, but I'll play along) so, I decided to come up with a pledge that makes you an honorary member of our CR fraternity.

I, (state your name...no, not your real name, say state your name) promise to honor and cherish all, ok, most, current residents of the CR and let them know how cool they are when the opportunity presents itself.

Now you are a super cool member of the  CR!! Congratulations!!! We will have a ceremony at Shotstops in the near future!!!

Bye Bye from The CR!!! Bloggy

Bloggy Weekend Props!

Props earned over the weekend in Bloggy Boy world....

6 Red Traveling Fun Show-"Hooping for Trophies" is off to a great start with a CR championship game win against Irondale and a 2nd place finish in Spring Lake Park 2 weeks ago. These guys play a great team game, work their tails off and it seems like every tournament I have another best win ever moment...well done boys!!!

Noah Wayne Willis- Little dude shovels the whole driveway for me!!! I love the energy!!!

Nugget-After a weekend of concession food, she makes the boys walking tacos for dinner...they loved it!!!! I am a VERY lucky guy!!!!

Me-for not eating the walking tacos and blowing my back to sanity for Blobby diet.

Austin-Totally into todays championship game against Irondale...including telling me that we got it now Dad!! Love it when the boys support each other!!

Sam-For playing hard this weekend and telling me that I would be the worst lineman in NFL history after hearing me ridicule the Vikings O line and saying I could do better...we both got a big kick out of that!!

Maple Grove-

CR Boys Traveling Boys Basketball Board-84 teams, 130+ games...WOW!!! Great Job!!! Thank you!!!!

5 day weekends-work 2 days and I get to enjoy one!!! Can't Wait!!!

Jeans and Hoodies-You are my favorite attire and I felt you needed to be publicly lauded!!

Goodnight from The CR,
Bloggy Q. Public esq.

Bloggy's view on inventions...

Today, I will be grinding away on the laptop at the kitchen table. I decided that before I get to those incredibly important reports (no "report" is ever very important, btw....uhhhhh, strike that, just kidding work!!), I'd better do a quick blog.

                                            Bloggy's Top 7 Favorite Inventors

#7. Francois and Henriette Officeday-Inventors of the Office Day, Salute!
#6. James and Arthur Cabletelevision-Thank you thank you thank you!
#5. Timmy and Billy Fakedowntown-Inventors of a certain suburbs, yep, you got it, fake downtown.
#4. Bo and Cephus Millerlite-Well done boys!!
#3. Jacques and Lucinda Oonderpants- They changed their name from Underpants, after taking too   much grief....(I coulda said crap, dammit!)
#2. Franklin P. Dietmountaindew-You are daddys milk!!!
#1. Matilda Q. Blog-you give me a forum to bore the heck out of people...well done Matty!!!

Nobody loves ya like the CR!!!!! BloggyMcWoggy

Bloggy Christmas

                                          Top 10 things Bloggy wants for Christmas

#10. A really nice pair of sansabelt slacks
 #9. World Peace
 #8. One of those bitchin' zip up Coon Rapids baseball black hoodies
 #7. A tramp stamp tatoo of a can of Diet Dew, the worlds greatest soda
 #6. Joy to allow Chris to put a flatscreen and furnace in his garage
 #5. Less nose and ear hair
 #4. A groovy silk shirt with a forest scene on it that matches the sansabelts
 #3. Maple Grove to scede from Minnesota
 #2. The Jacques Lemaire of CR hockey to get his due
 #1. Butt implants

(Truth be told, I'll GLADLY settle for #'s 6 and 8!!)

Bye from the CR,
Formerly fatter, but always an imbecile, Bloggy

Bloggy's Baaaaaack!!!

Dear friends,
Bloggy is back from the great white north (aka International Falls). As a special treat, I've decided to write a song. It is sung to the tune "Ben", by Michael Jackson...enjoy...or not...its your call, cuz Bloggy thinks you're cool no matter what!!
                      
                                                                      Bloggy
                                                              (Lyrics by Bloggy)
Bloogy, you've always been a friend to meeeeeee.....
Tweedle tweedle tweedle tweedle deeeeeeee............
Bloggy you're such a total loser, when you were 20 you had to sit in a police cruiser....
(Sidebar- So we're having some beers after another night of the ol' hardball, when the po po shows up and asks to see our I.D.'s...uh oh....so you're telling me I can work at the 7-11 in West Fargo, but I can't legally have an Old Muck with my friends?? Attica! Attica! Attica! They take us to Rikers and put us in a holding cell with the door wide open...I shut it and start dragging my knuckles across the bars singing "let us out, let us out"....if tasers would have been around, I woulda got zapped!!)
Bloggy, you used to be super fat, but were still a real cool cat...
Now, you're still kinda fat, but one day hope to be as skinny as a floor maaaaat....(I know, lame, but I've grown bored with the song)
Bloggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......

Until we meet again, props from Americas' greatest 'Burb....The CR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Biggie Bloggy

CR Livin'

So, my sister-in-law and niece were up at the palatial estate in God's country, working with the Nugget on some crib skirts and bumper pads for Tiffy Jo's pending little nubbin'. Reesy parks her vehicle on the street. I come back from picking up the chicks some foo foo drinks at the 'bou, and notice a sheet of paper on Reesy's window. It is a well crafted, beautifully written notice informing her that if a vehicle is parked on the street after November 1st, it may.....may be ticketed. So....in the CR...we don't immediately tow, ticket, write a mean note or knock on your door. We write a note stating that we appologize as we may, just may, don't really want to, but may give you a ticket. Reason #10,000 that the CR is the world's greatest 'Burb!!!! CR Rules!!!! Stillbiggybloggyboy

Back from suspension....

After imposing a 2 day suspension on myself, Biscuits and Bloggy is back for more. The reasons for my suspension shall remain fairly secretive, but lets just say that they involve my ranking of both Maple Grove and Mukilteo in my top 5 'Burbs......we all know they both....oh forget it.....I don't want to self suspend anymore!!! Here are some randoms from the last few days......

1. The Metrodome is a dump...we went to the TG game last night, spent 30 minutes in the ticket line, 35 in the concession line...it is so poorly run and needs to be used for youth sports, college and high school sports (if staffed properly) and rollerblading only. Build that new stadium in Arden Hills and my home value is sure to double, which will get it up to 1/2 of what we paid for it 12 years ago! Thank you Wall Street!! I blame Obama, er Bush, er Clinton, er Bernanke...oh forget it!!!

2. Props to "Wild Puck Banter" on the shout out for my skinnier face...down 29 pounds on the back to sanity diet and people are really starting to notice, which kinda inspires me to keep going...that, and the fact that I was wayyyy tooo fat!!!

3. For the first time in 12 years, we have a home for sale in the sac. Kinda bummed cuz we have perfect neighbors...give ya a little wave, don't come over and hang out, once a year "we hate crime" barbecue in the street etc....so, if you have a tall (for hoops), hardthrowing (for Little League) 12 year old, please buy their house!!

4. The CR rules!!

I'll do better next time....Biscuits and Bloggy

Bloggy's Favorite 'Burbs.....

I've decided that, for today, I will become a prolific blogger by doing 2 posts in 1 day. This blog will list my top 5 suburbs...

#5 Maple Grove-actually, it was one of my least, mainly because I can never find my way around their fake downtown, but I then realized that I get lost all the time, so I shouldn't single them out. Plus, we usually kick 6 different kinds of dogcrap out of them in "Hoopin for Trophies", so I kinda felt bad, and decided to put them in the top 5 as a way to make it up to them. Ok, truth be told, I am just trying to get a rise out of Steve and Julie and dig the Grove!!! (Like they read this crap anyway!!)

#4 Felton-The little known, underappreciated , sister city of its bigger brother Glyndon. It has a quaint downtown, and a pleasant, yet somewhat disconcerting ambiance. I've actually never been there, but just imagine that this is the case.

#3 Peewaukee-A suburb of Milwaukee. Any city that has Pee in it, deserves a mention in my book. Plus they have a Broccoli festival and pee the town green...too cool!! (Get it?)

#2 Mukilteo-A suburb in the Seattle area that Shelly and I lived in for about 2 years (it just seemed like 5...just kidding Dad and Tina :)) when we were still young and impressionable. The only time we ever, and probably will ever live by rich people, unless of course we win the lottery and move to South Fargo, were all the rich kids live!!

#1 The CR Baby!!!!-My CRCLL buds, the Thienes garage, Hoopin' for Trophies, Hoopin' for Jesus, White Sox Parties, Greg and Terri hoop parties, fall little dude football, Epiphany Stars, Blender Night, patio parties, Halloween Parties, any, and all, parent parties.... I could go on and on and on!! I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!

Bloggy Cakes


                          

Stats

In a stunning turn of events, Russia has taken over second place in the "Life in the CR" views by country list(Thanks for the mention from "Wild Puck Banter"-The #1 Wild blog in the Ukraine!). Germany is still close at 1 view, which I'm pretty sure is Uma Thurman! (Sidebar-Seal is cool and all, but what kind of a name is that? Although, truth be told, I did consider naming my youngest Squid). It has been a long week in the world of the painty boy...good thing tomorrow is only Thursday, so the week can only seem  longer! Blogging everyday is not that easy, but life in the CR is slow paced, and I will start to bring my A game once I become well rested. Peace out from the greatest Cities Burb.....The CR!!!! Bloggy Biscuit

Bloggywoggypuddinpie

I'm pretending that I'm writing this on the 8th to keep my previously stated goal of blogging everyday. Up in Duluth for a sales event tomorrow....long day of working paint angles and can't wait to get home to my CR peeps tomorrow!! Props to the "Hoopin for Jesus" boys on their win....Quilty Pants said it was just a little different style game than our "Hoopin for Trophies" traveling fun show, but hey, a wins a win!! Happy to see that 2 of the 3 school referendums passed...I was worried, cuz when I voted, it was with a ton of seniors, and they tend to vote no on everything and are usually crabby, which is cool. I'm not sure why, but crabby people always make me chuckle so, in the future, if you want to make me laugh, either do stupid stuff, or be crabby, and I promise to give ya a toothy grin!! Goodnight from the great state of Minnesota, I'm sleepy, and will do better tomorrow...Bloggy Boy

Bloggy Britches

I really got nothin' but a couple random thoughts today.....
1. Voting yes for public schools tomorrow...Heck, I voted yes for Legacy funds and I don't hunt or fish, so I darn well better vote yes for education.
2. I have to miss Sams first game for Epiphany tomorrow, which really blows. But, I thought about it, and when your kids play almost 140 games a year combined, there are bound to be a few you can't make...still ticks me off though, and makes me crabby for work, which is kinda cool!!
3. I have decided to call Epiphany BBall "Hooping for Jesus" and traveling CR BBall "Hooping for trophies".....
4. Saw that I had 71 page views so far. I even thought that somebody from Alaska had viewed my page, until I remembered that they color in the whole US...speaking of Alaska....Dear Gold Rush guys...you'd be better off taking that $80,000, buying 45 ounces of gold, waiting for some bogus report for Wall Street to panic and then the price of your gold would go up...plus, then I wouldn't have to waste my time watching that silly show....
5. I told you I didn't have much......
6. Almost forgot..the grand total is 27 pounds so far...23 more and it's time to go clubbin'!!!!!

Life in the CR

I'm starting a blog for one simple reason....so that I can talk about my favorite subject.....ME!!
Plus, quite honestly, I think people were getting sick of my constant posts on Facebook. (Btw...I like it when people post stuff on Facebook about what they are doing...isn't that what its for??) Oh well, now they don't have to delete me as a friend and hurt my always at the surface feelings, they can just log on to my blog and be embarassed for me. My wife just saw what I was doing and said, and I quote her directly, "Oh God"....she is too damn funny!! Stay tuned for constant posts about a whole different variety of subjects that interest me and, more than likely, a ton of stuff on my kids teams!!
P.S. I use these !!! a lot!!!!