Dear Bloggy....

Bloggy answers his mail.......

Dear Bloggy,
Thank you for your recent photo submission. Unfortunately, due to a slight imperfection, a dimple if you will, on your left buttock, we cannot, at this time, consider you for the underwear model position we currently have open. For future reference, please send only photos where you are clothed.
Sincerly, A. Haines, New York, New York

Dear A.,
Thanks for shattering a guys dreams, you arrogant, perfectly buttocked, corporate jerk!!!!

Dear Bloggy,
Word on the street is that you were the "me" of high school basketball in North Dakota during the early 1980's. Care to elaborate?
M.Jordan, Charlotte, NC

Dear M.,
Actually, I was more like the Lebron James of  North Dakota hoops in the early '80s. I remember it like it was 28 years ago.....Fargo North vs. Mott-Clifford-Galesburg-Streeter-Wing-Tuttle-Glyndon-Felton....Creg Growley throws up a brick from the top of the key, I come flying in from the wing for a monster put back jam and one....I hang on the rim while yelling "Who's your daddy" at the cat I had just humiliated...dude gets mad at me, ready to take a swing, when I tell him..."No, you've misunderstood me, humbled dude, I wanted to know who your daddy was, so I could tell him "nice job" on raising such a fine young man"........
Jeeeeesh...everybody is soooooo sensitive!!!!

Dear Bloggy,
A lot of us super hot model types have been talking about how Nugget is so lucky to get to hang with you, now that you have lost so much weight. Just thought you might like to know!
Sincerly, E. McPherson Sydney, Australia

Dear E.,
Thanks for taking time out from your career as a super model to write such a touching note. I will be sure to let the Lil' Bit know, although my guess is that her reply will be that you can have him!!

Keep those letters comin'!
Bloggy from the snob free 'Burb....THE CR!!!!

Bloggy Lite

The Blog has spent parts of the last 3 days putting up the outdoor lights for his light show tentatively entitled "Holiday lights for Jesus" or, possibly, "Bloggy Christmas". Tonight was to be the big unveiling...Bloggy plugs the last of his 15 extension cords in and wham, the fence lights don't work...WHAT THE!!! This was to be the piece deresistance of the Bloggy light show......my big chance to appear on KARE 11, doing a live remote with Bel, maybe throwing it back to the studio to the big toothy grinning guy...and maybe, just maybe, if the stars align, I would get to do some of that non sensical anchor patter and do the hearty fake laugh I've even been practicing!!! But alas, the fence lights don't work, so I must buckle down again tomorrow to solve this most troubling of situations...it's probably for the best anyways, as Bel would have probably hit on me, I would have had to show her my wedding ring, and she would have most likely been devastated...or, then again, maybe not!!!

Goodnight from the peoples 'Burb, The CR!!
Bloggy Claus

Bloggy displays newfound maturity...

Miss Shell and I were talking this evening, when she said, and I quote "You know how sometimes people are really hot, then they open their mouths, and then immediately they are not...you are one stupid comment from becoming that person!"......I instantly think to myself that one, she thinks I'm hot! and two, maybe I should ask her to make out, since she thinks I'm hot!!!! This is where I quickly determined that I should just keep my mouth shut, thus displaying my newfound maturity level!!! I may reach my teens yet on the maturity scale!!
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families and friends, and are as lucky as I am to have so many things to be thankful for!!!!!!!!!!

Peace from America's 'Burb, The CR!!!
HotBloggy

Bloggy spends Thanksgiving in Maple Grove....

Thanks to his wonderful Sister-in-Law, let's call her Julie, and her super lesser half, let's call him Steve, Bloggy and the blogglings will be spending some quality Thanksgiving time in the Grove. I have spent many hours preparing for this adventure, so as to fit in, and remain inconspicuous. If you happen to see me, and don't recognize me, that's Ok, as I will give you a little nod to let you know that The CR still rules!!

Bloggies recon preparations:
-I rented a black SUV, and placed a Wayzata High School bumpersticker on the back of the vehicle.
(My feeling is that if you can let a fart at your house, and they can smell it at Maple Grove High, then that is the school that you should probably go to...just sayin')
-I will be wearing a skin colored breathright on my nose so that it turns up just a hair...
-I will totally agree with changing the exit off 94 to Maple Grove Parkway (how precious) even though idiots like me will still probably miss the turn off cuz I remember it as....whatever it was!!!
-I will espouse my love for fakedowntowns and the windmills that power them....
-I purchased some product for my hair and a shirt with a collar that I can turn up in a kind of devil may care way...even though it will take me 2 hours to get it just right....
-I will listen to that blowhard Limbaugh and pretend that everything he says is the truth, even that thing about Obama being responsible for Joe Mauers endless array of injuries...
-I will let everyone know that I am a "Fall" on the color wheel, just in case someone thinks I'm so cool, they feel compelled to buy me an outfit!!

I recently spoke to an old high school friend, Creg Growley (name changed to protect his reputation) who knew me back when I was a High School basketball superstar with scholarship offers from many world renowned universities....Dakota School of Mines, East Grand Forks Tech, Aakers Business School, Tony's Convenience and Bait Store and, oh yeah, Schoolin' Place (I told you that you knew 'em) and was also a big hit with the ladeeeez!! Mr. Growley reminded me that we have some friends in the Grove who may be offended by my making fun of this lesser 'Burb (I REALLY doubt that many people read this crap, but I'll play along) so, I decided to come up with a pledge that makes you an honorary member of our CR fraternity.

I, (state your name...no, not your real name, say state your name) promise to honor and cherish all, ok, most, current residents of the CR and let them know how cool they are when the opportunity presents itself.

Now you are a super cool member of the  CR!! Congratulations!!! We will have a ceremony at Shotstops in the near future!!!

Bye Bye from The CR!!! Bloggy

Bloggy Weekend Props!

Props earned over the weekend in Bloggy Boy world....

6 Red Traveling Fun Show-"Hooping for Trophies" is off to a great start with a CR championship game win against Irondale and a 2nd place finish in Spring Lake Park 2 weeks ago. These guys play a great team game, work their tails off and it seems like every tournament I have another best win ever moment...well done boys!!!

Noah Wayne Willis- Little dude shovels the whole driveway for me!!! I love the energy!!!

Nugget-After a weekend of concession food, she makes the boys walking tacos for dinner...they loved it!!!! I am a VERY lucky guy!!!!

Me-for not eating the walking tacos and blowing my back to sanity for Blobby diet.

Austin-Totally into todays championship game against Irondale...including telling me that we got it now Dad!! Love it when the boys support each other!!

Sam-For playing hard this weekend and telling me that I would be the worst lineman in NFL history after hearing me ridicule the Vikings O line and saying I could do better...we both got a big kick out of that!!

Maple Grove-

CR Boys Traveling Boys Basketball Board-84 teams, 130+ games...WOW!!! Great Job!!! Thank you!!!!

5 day weekends-work 2 days and I get to enjoy one!!! Can't Wait!!!

Jeans and Hoodies-You are my favorite attire and I felt you needed to be publicly lauded!!

Goodnight from The CR,
Bloggy Q. Public esq.

Bloggy's view on inventions...

Today, I will be grinding away on the laptop at the kitchen table. I decided that before I get to those incredibly important reports (no "report" is ever very important, btw....uhhhhh, strike that, just kidding work!!), I'd better do a quick blog.

                                            Bloggy's Top 7 Favorite Inventors

#7. Francois and Henriette Officeday-Inventors of the Office Day, Salute!
#6. James and Arthur Cabletelevision-Thank you thank you thank you!
#5. Timmy and Billy Fakedowntown-Inventors of a certain suburbs, yep, you got it, fake downtown.
#4. Bo and Cephus Millerlite-Well done boys!!
#3. Jacques and Lucinda Oonderpants- They changed their name from Underpants, after taking too   much grief....(I coulda said crap, dammit!)
#2. Franklin P. Dietmountaindew-You are daddys milk!!!
#1. Matilda Q. Blog-you give me a forum to bore the heck out of people...well done Matty!!!

Nobody loves ya like the CR!!!!! BloggyMcWoggy

Bloggy Christmas

                                          Top 10 things Bloggy wants for Christmas

#10. A really nice pair of sansabelt slacks
 #9. World Peace
 #8. One of those bitchin' zip up Coon Rapids baseball black hoodies
 #7. A tramp stamp tatoo of a can of Diet Dew, the worlds greatest soda
 #6. Joy to allow Chris to put a flatscreen and furnace in his garage
 #5. Less nose and ear hair
 #4. A groovy silk shirt with a forest scene on it that matches the sansabelts
 #3. Maple Grove to scede from Minnesota
 #2. The Jacques Lemaire of CR hockey to get his due
 #1. Butt implants

(Truth be told, I'll GLADLY settle for #'s 6 and 8!!)

Bye from the CR,
Formerly fatter, but always an imbecile, Bloggy

Bloggy's Baaaaaack!!!

Dear friends,
Bloggy is back from the great white north (aka International Falls). As a special treat, I've decided to write a song. It is sung to the tune "Ben", by Michael Jackson...enjoy...or not...its your call, cuz Bloggy thinks you're cool no matter what!!
                      
                                                                      Bloggy
                                                              (Lyrics by Bloggy)
Bloogy, you've always been a friend to meeeeeee.....
Tweedle tweedle tweedle tweedle deeeeeeee............
Bloggy you're such a total loser, when you were 20 you had to sit in a police cruiser....
(Sidebar- So we're having some beers after another night of the ol' hardball, when the po po shows up and asks to see our I.D.'s...uh oh....so you're telling me I can work at the 7-11 in West Fargo, but I can't legally have an Old Muck with my friends?? Attica! Attica! Attica! They take us to Rikers and put us in a holding cell with the door wide open...I shut it and start dragging my knuckles across the bars singing "let us out, let us out"....if tasers would have been around, I woulda got zapped!!)
Bloggy, you used to be super fat, but were still a real cool cat...
Now, you're still kinda fat, but one day hope to be as skinny as a floor maaaaat....(I know, lame, but I've grown bored with the song)
Bloggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......

Until we meet again, props from Americas' greatest 'Burb....The CR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Biggie Bloggy

CR Livin'

So, my sister-in-law and niece were up at the palatial estate in God's country, working with the Nugget on some crib skirts and bumper pads for Tiffy Jo's pending little nubbin'. Reesy parks her vehicle on the street. I come back from picking up the chicks some foo foo drinks at the 'bou, and notice a sheet of paper on Reesy's window. It is a well crafted, beautifully written notice informing her that if a vehicle is parked on the street after November 1st, it may.....may be ticketed. So....in the CR...we don't immediately tow, ticket, write a mean note or knock on your door. We write a note stating that we appologize as we may, just may, don't really want to, but may give you a ticket. Reason #10,000 that the CR is the world's greatest 'Burb!!!! CR Rules!!!! Stillbiggybloggyboy

Back from suspension....

After imposing a 2 day suspension on myself, Biscuits and Bloggy is back for more. The reasons for my suspension shall remain fairly secretive, but lets just say that they involve my ranking of both Maple Grove and Mukilteo in my top 5 'Burbs......we all know they both....oh forget it.....I don't want to self suspend anymore!!! Here are some randoms from the last few days......

1. The Metrodome is a dump...we went to the TG game last night, spent 30 minutes in the ticket line, 35 in the concession line...it is so poorly run and needs to be used for youth sports, college and high school sports (if staffed properly) and rollerblading only. Build that new stadium in Arden Hills and my home value is sure to double, which will get it up to 1/2 of what we paid for it 12 years ago! Thank you Wall Street!! I blame Obama, er Bush, er Clinton, er Bernanke...oh forget it!!!

2. Props to "Wild Puck Banter" on the shout out for my skinnier face...down 29 pounds on the back to sanity diet and people are really starting to notice, which kinda inspires me to keep going...that, and the fact that I was wayyyy tooo fat!!!

3. For the first time in 12 years, we have a home for sale in the sac. Kinda bummed cuz we have perfect neighbors...give ya a little wave, don't come over and hang out, once a year "we hate crime" barbecue in the street etc....so, if you have a tall (for hoops), hardthrowing (for Little League) 12 year old, please buy their house!!

4. The CR rules!!

I'll do better next time....Biscuits and Bloggy

Bloggy's Favorite 'Burbs.....

I've decided that, for today, I will become a prolific blogger by doing 2 posts in 1 day. This blog will list my top 5 suburbs...

#5 Maple Grove-actually, it was one of my least, mainly because I can never find my way around their fake downtown, but I then realized that I get lost all the time, so I shouldn't single them out. Plus, we usually kick 6 different kinds of dogcrap out of them in "Hoopin for Trophies", so I kinda felt bad, and decided to put them in the top 5 as a way to make it up to them. Ok, truth be told, I am just trying to get a rise out of Steve and Julie and dig the Grove!!! (Like they read this crap anyway!!)

#4 Felton-The little known, underappreciated , sister city of its bigger brother Glyndon. It has a quaint downtown, and a pleasant, yet somewhat disconcerting ambiance. I've actually never been there, but just imagine that this is the case.

#3 Peewaukee-A suburb of Milwaukee. Any city that has Pee in it, deserves a mention in my book. Plus they have a Broccoli festival and pee the town green...too cool!! (Get it?)

#2 Mukilteo-A suburb in the Seattle area that Shelly and I lived in for about 2 years (it just seemed like 5...just kidding Dad and Tina :)) when we were still young and impressionable. The only time we ever, and probably will ever live by rich people, unless of course we win the lottery and move to South Fargo, were all the rich kids live!!

#1 The CR Baby!!!!-My CRCLL buds, the Thienes garage, Hoopin' for Trophies, Hoopin' for Jesus, White Sox Parties, Greg and Terri hoop parties, fall little dude football, Epiphany Stars, Blender Night, patio parties, Halloween Parties, any, and all, parent parties.... I could go on and on and on!! I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!

Bloggy Cakes


                          

Stats

In a stunning turn of events, Russia has taken over second place in the "Life in the CR" views by country list(Thanks for the mention from "Wild Puck Banter"-The #1 Wild blog in the Ukraine!). Germany is still close at 1 view, which I'm pretty sure is Uma Thurman! (Sidebar-Seal is cool and all, but what kind of a name is that? Although, truth be told, I did consider naming my youngest Squid). It has been a long week in the world of the painty boy...good thing tomorrow is only Thursday, so the week can only seem  longer! Blogging everyday is not that easy, but life in the CR is slow paced, and I will start to bring my A game once I become well rested. Peace out from the greatest Cities Burb.....The CR!!!! Bloggy Biscuit

Bloggywoggypuddinpie

I'm pretending that I'm writing this on the 8th to keep my previously stated goal of blogging everyday. Up in Duluth for a sales event tomorrow....long day of working paint angles and can't wait to get home to my CR peeps tomorrow!! Props to the "Hoopin for Jesus" boys on their win....Quilty Pants said it was just a little different style game than our "Hoopin for Trophies" traveling fun show, but hey, a wins a win!! Happy to see that 2 of the 3 school referendums passed...I was worried, cuz when I voted, it was with a ton of seniors, and they tend to vote no on everything and are usually crabby, which is cool. I'm not sure why, but crabby people always make me chuckle so, in the future, if you want to make me laugh, either do stupid stuff, or be crabby, and I promise to give ya a toothy grin!! Goodnight from the great state of Minnesota, I'm sleepy, and will do better tomorrow...Bloggy Boy

Bloggy Britches

I really got nothin' but a couple random thoughts today.....
1. Voting yes for public schools tomorrow...Heck, I voted yes for Legacy funds and I don't hunt or fish, so I darn well better vote yes for education.
2. I have to miss Sams first game for Epiphany tomorrow, which really blows. But, I thought about it, and when your kids play almost 140 games a year combined, there are bound to be a few you can't make...still ticks me off though, and makes me crabby for work, which is kinda cool!!
3. I have decided to call Epiphany BBall "Hooping for Jesus" and traveling CR BBall "Hooping for trophies".....
4. Saw that I had 71 page views so far. I even thought that somebody from Alaska had viewed my page, until I remembered that they color in the whole US...speaking of Alaska....Dear Gold Rush guys...you'd be better off taking that $80,000, buying 45 ounces of gold, waiting for some bogus report for Wall Street to panic and then the price of your gold would go up...plus, then I wouldn't have to waste my time watching that silly show....
5. I told you I didn't have much......
6. Almost forgot..the grand total is 27 pounds so far...23 more and it's time to go clubbin'!!!!!

Life in the CR

I'm starting a blog for one simple reason....so that I can talk about my favorite subject.....ME!!
Plus, quite honestly, I think people were getting sick of my constant posts on Facebook. (Btw...I like it when people post stuff on Facebook about what they are doing...isn't that what its for??) Oh well, now they don't have to delete me as a friend and hurt my always at the surface feelings, they can just log on to my blog and be embarassed for me. My wife just saw what I was doing and said, and I quote her directly, "Oh God"....she is too damn funny!! Stay tuned for constant posts about a whole different variety of subjects that interest me and, more than likely, a ton of stuff on my kids teams!!
P.S. I use these !!! a lot!!!!