Letters to the Blogitor-part deux

Dear Bloggy,
First time listener, long time caller.You seem like such an ass. Why would you think that anyone would give a crap about anything that you have to say?
Wiggy, Maple Grove, Mn

Dear Wiggy,
My suspicions have obviously been confirmed, you windmill loving, fakedowntown liking, Wayzata HS bumber sticker displaying, Girboux jean wearing, fan of Bloggy and all that he stands for. Stay in touch and Merry Christmas!!!
Bloggy

Dear Bloggy,
I've been having a little trouble getting dates, and was wondering if you could give me any advice. You seem to be such a hit with the ladeeeez! Thanks!
G. Clooney Hollywood, CA

Dear G,
First off, I would stop trying to stretch yourself too thin. I too was once an actor/singer, but then realized that I needed to concentrate on just one vocation...henceforth and herewith...the art of the Blog. It would also help if you weren't so smarmy...be yourself, let people get to know you, and you too can be a hit with the fairer sex!! If need be, you may also use a couple of my beauty tips...I have drawers full of mansiers and am getting a decent sized collection of mirdles as well. Now get out there and make yourself available, you creep!!
Bloggy

Dear Bloggy,
You seema to beya such a mana abouta the towna. I alsoa hearda that you werea quita the basketballa stara in the Northa Dakotaa. Do youa thinka that maybe you coulda show me around the towna and give me some basketballa tipsa? I hearda that the Coon Rapidsa isa greata placea to livea! Thanksa! Maple Grovea sucka!
R. Rubio Minneapolis, Mn

Dear R,
You have heard correctly that I was a basketball superstar in the early 80's in the EDC. It seems just like yesterday......Feff Jurness pounds the ball up the court, passes to the corner to Frad Beltis, top of the key to Vatt Melline, bounce pass to the other corner to Creg Growley, who no look passes (even though everyone could tell who he was looking at!) towards the basket, where I catch the ball at my ankles (Creg was a horrible passer) in midair and do a reverse jam, followed by 2 minutes of the cabbage patch dance. Pretty sure it was the KXJB "Dunk o' the Day"....I think it was a game against Erie....BTW...The CR is the BEST place to live...TONS of the best peeps I'll ever know, and Maple Grove does blow!!!!!
Bloggy

Bloggy loves ya!!! Well, most of ya...oh, Ok, Bloggy loves all of ya!!!